


Between Frames

by skyclectic



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Cheating, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 07:53:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12766467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyclectic/pseuds/skyclectic
Summary: Hyukjae lets his eyes flutter shut. He lets his mind wander to another life, a life where their hearts will be exactly in sync. Two hearts beating as one forever –“I should go.” Leeteuk’s voice is coarse like sandpaper and it grates on his ear.- And then Hyukjae remembers. He remembers that in this life, this is all that they will ever cease to be.





	Between Frames

**Author's Note:**

> Written and posted on helloparoxysm@livejournal on 22 June 2009.

**5.47am**  
  
Hyukjae stares at the shadows flickering on the wall opposite the bed. His heart is still racing, beating out of sync with his carefully controlled breathing. He tries to ignore the silence pressing into his eardrums – heavy with unsaid words and unspoken truths.   
  
Beside him, Leeteuk is still but Hyukjae knows that his heart is beating just as fast and just as hard.   
  
Leeteuk shifts and the space between them grows wider – 8 inches that separates their bodies and a whole lot more separating their hearts.   
  
Their fingers accidentally brush and Hyukjae can feel the smallest of sparks shoot through his veins to land somewhere near his breastbone.  
  
Hyukjae lets his eyes flutter shut. He lets his mind wander to another life, a life where their hearts will be exactly in sync. Two hearts beating as one forever –   
  
“I should go,” Leeteuk’s voice is coarse like sandpaper and it grates on his ear.  
  
\- And then Hyukjae remembers. He remembers that in this life, this is all that they will ever cease to be.

 

 

**5.52am**

Leeteuk doesn’t look at him and studies the flashing red glow of the alarm clock instead. “You should get some sleep. Their plane lands in 2 hours.”   
  
“I’m fine.”

Hyukjae can see the red numbers reflected in the glassy orb of Leeteuk’s eyes. He thinks that if sin can be described as a colour, it would be this same flashing red.   
  
“You wouldn’t want him to see you dead on your feet.”

Leeteuk’s voice is stripped of any emotion and Hyukjae knows that is only so that no one can see the storm ravaging his heart.   
  
“It’s fine. He wouldn’t mind,” Hyukjae says and repeats it to himself, not because it’s a lie, but because he is trying to convince himself to believe it’s the truth.   
  
Leeteuk finally turns to look at him then and there is a strange unreadable look in his eyes. “Because he’ll be too happy to see you?”   
  
“Yeah. Because he’ll be too happy to see me,” Hyukjae echoes. He doesn’t know what else to say.

 

 **5.56am**  
  
The bed creaks as Leeteuk sits up and rubs his eyes. The mattress bounces slightly and something in Hyukjae’s heart stills.   
  
“I’ll see you later then,” Leeteuk whispers and his hand lingers on Hyukjae’s cheek.  
  
Hyukjae feels a sudden pressure around his ribcage and he reaches out blindly for Leeteuk’s wrist. Leeteuk freezes and Hyukjae grips tighter, pressing his fingers down hard enough to leave behind discoloured skin. He imagines that 3 hours later, he can match the shape of his fingers to each bruise –  _mine_  they spell.  
  
“Stay.”  
  
“Hyuk, you know I can’t. It’s too dangerous. Donghae – “  
  
“Please. Just – Just for a while. He won’t find out.”  
  
Leeteuk gently removes Hyukjae’s fingers off his wrist one by one and takes Hyukjae’s hands in his. He runs his thumb in circles on the inside of Hyukjae’s palm.  _I’m sorry._  Over and over again.   
  
“Stay,” Hyukjae repeats. He doesn’t let himself wonder what the pleading tone in his voice means.  
  
Leeteuk lets Hyukjae’s hand fall gently onto the mattress. He looks at Hyukjae with steely eyes as cold as ice chips. His smile is too sharp around the edges and his back too straight.   
  
“I can’t. You know I can’t.” 

 

 **5.58am**  
  
Hyukjae watches as Leeteuk gropes around for his clothes in the dark.

Hyukjae allows himself half a second to think about the what ifs and the what could have beens. It only makes the dull pain pressing on his ribs sharper and he shakes his head in a futile attempt to make it go away.   
  
Leeteuk curses when he stubs his toe against the bedpost. He swears again when his elbow bumps into the nightstand. He pauses and glances over his shoulder at Hyukjae who looks coolly back. “Did you see my boxers?”  
  
“You left them on the armchair.”   
  
“Oh. Thanks.”

Leeteuk crosses the room in three strides and pulls them on. In the dim light, Hyukjae can barely make out the curve of Leeteuk’s spine as he continues to rummage around in the dark.  
  
“You’re welcome,” he whispers softly, pretty sure that Leeteuk cannot hear him and even more sure that it doesn’t matter anyway. 

 

 **6.01am**  
  
“I can’t find my shirt. Did you see -”  
  
“It’s under the bed.”

 

 **6.03am**  
  
Hyukjae tries to catch Leeteuk’s eye but the other man carefully avoids his gaze. Hyukjae goes back to staring at the flickering shadows on the opposite wall. A car passes by outside and Hyukjae lets the thrum of its engine fill his ears until that is all the sound that he can hear.  
  
(He can’t hear the sound of Leeteuk doing up the zipper of his jeans. He can’t hear Leeteuk’s heavy footsteps towards the door. He can’t hear the creak of the door, the soft thud as it closes and the sudden stillness that follows.)  
  
Through the crack under the door, Hyukjae can hear the sound of running water in the shower across the hall.

He can’t help but wonder if Leeteuk is trying to get the burn of Hyukjae’s lips off his skin.

And then he can’t help but wonder if it even matters at all. 

 

 **7.07am**  
  
_Hyukkie~~ are you awake yet? I can’t wait to see you! ^_^_  
  
Hyukjae sighs and tosses his phone back onto his unmade bed. He runs his hands through his hair – Donghae’s message only makes the dull pain throbbing against his ribcage even sharper.   
  
He hurries into the bathroom and throws up into the sink. When he finally stops retching, he can taste the bitter sting of guilt on the insides of his mouth. Shaking, Hyukjae wipes his mouth with his sleeve and turns on the tap to drain the vomit away.   
  
When the bathroom door creaks, he turns his head and finds himself staring straight at Leeteuk.

Leeteuk doesn’t look at him, doesn’t say anything about the mess in the sink. Instead, he moves mechanically to the toilet bowl and drops his pants.

Hyukjae turns away then, feeling a faint blush starting to colour his cheeks as images from the night before flashes in front of his eyes.   
  
_This is wrong_ he thinks, even as he reaches out for Leeteuk and catches his sleeve before he walks out of the room. “Hyung –“   
  
“Don’t. Just _don’t_ , Hyuk.”  
  
“Please,” he tugs harder at the fabric in his grip. “ _Please_.”  
  
“You’ve got someone else to love,” Leeteuk says and Hyukjae hates the flat tone in his voice.   
  
_But I want you. I want you too._  “But last night-“  
  
“Was nothing,” Leeteuk interrupts, tugging his sleeve out of Hyukjae’s grip.

 He pauses at the threshold and turns back to look at Hyukjae. “And so were the nights before.”   
  
_It wasn’t. It wasn’t and you know it._  Hyukjae feels like screaming at Leeteuk’s back but he chokes on the words and he can feel bile rising up his throat instead.   
  
He retches again and leans against the sink – still filled with proof of his guilt – and thinks,  _I’m the one cheating on my boyfriend, but why are you the one running away?_  

 He closes his eyes and lets the tears run freely down his cheeks.  _I’m the one with everything to lose but why are you the one who’s more afraid?_

 


End file.
